When I first started my wedding photography business, I was not married. I wasn’t even dating. I was just a substitute teacher who had a lot of debt from living in one of the most expensive states in the US for the last 5 years. I had recently finished listening to Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover and decided to bring in extra income to pay off the debt. I took on my first wedding and photographers all around me were giving their clients extravagant gifts. I, however, didn’t have a lot of money and books were inexpensive compared to all the fancy gifts. I had never even read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, but I had heard it referenced numerous times, I had taken the quiz and I knew the gist. I decided that if every couple knew how to speak each other’s love language their marriage may be a little easier and little better, so I gave it as my gift.
Years later, I am reading it with my husband. Since we have just finished Captivating, which is primarily directed to ladies, I thought it would be fun to blog about something my husband and I are reading together.
I just finished chapter one and I am just amazed at how clear and simple love languages seem. Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor, opens up the book with a story about a conversation he has on the plane. There is a man who is asking him why his relationships seem great until after he gets married. It’s like something happens and a switch is flipped and all of the sudden they are no longer understanding each other.
Gary Chapman goes on to explain that languages are key in communication. If my primary language is English and yours is Chinese, we may have a hard time understanding each other. I need to learn Chinese in order for you to understand me best and you need to learn English in order for me to understand you best. When we know just a little of the other’s language, we can get by, but conversations may not be completely understand and can be a bit awkward. Love languages are the same way. It is important to know each other’s love language and then learn how to speak it so that we can feel the love. “If we want them to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.”
If you are curious what yours or your spouses’ love language is, you can take the quiz here. I just took the quiz again to see my results and they have changed just over the last year. So, if you haven’t taken the quiz in awhile, it may be fun to take it again. Here are my quiz results.